POMONA, Mo (PP) — Thousands of Pomona residents were surprised to find in their mailboxes, an opportunity to make $10,000 for information leading to the capture of a man wanted in connection with a foiled attempt at sending a mail bomb. For some, that would be enough to fix their Ford pickups and keep them running for a couple of years. But the quick capture of the man has also shattered the dreams of many would be vigilantes as some talked of resurrecting a modern day baldknobber gang.
What has been missed in all the hooplah surrounding the attempted mail bombing is what has left Pomona’s leading officials in a state of concern. As smaller news sources such as The West Plains Daily Quill and NBC affiliate KY3 continue to tout Donald Schamber’s crime (alleged) as trying to mail a bomb, the Post and other locals didn’t miss the obvious. Those who actually looked at the picture picked out one interesting detail. HE’S ILLEGALLY PARKED!!
Local Pomona statutes consider that a hanging offense, followed by a $50,ooo dollar fine. If this happened in Pomona, Mr. Schamber will likely plead guilty to all federal charges to avoid extradition to Pomona where he would be tried by a council of the wisest of Pomona’s local gaffers. If found guilty here in Pomona, there would be one appeal followed by a hanging and a festival, which according to statutes requires all to wear knickers and shoes with buckles.
Some believe the crime did indeed happen in Pomona because on the same day the bomb was discovered in West Plains, several witnesses called in reporting that Sonny Bono was illegally parked. One man called in and reported Father Guido Sarducci leaving in an illegally parked white truck. Some think officials should investigate Fr. Sarducci simply by studying the photos supplied by the Postal Inspection Service.
Until more is discovered, The Pomona Post will not rest (as we sometimes are in the habit of doing) until the crime of illegal parking is discussed by the FBI. If anything, this will bring attention to a problem which clogs Pomona’s roads, businesses and federal building.
